All I Want For Christmas is You
by Katria Bloom
Summary: A funny little bit of writing, if I do say so myself. A gift for my friend Kendra!


_A gift fic for my friend Kendra! Hope you like it!_

* * *

Harry knew that it must be nearing Christmas judging by the growing volume of the shrill holiday music sounding from Aunt Petunia's wireless.

When he first returned to his aunt and uncle's house the music had been an faint, ever-present noise. At first Harry didn't notice, for he was in too much shock to hear anything. He had still been reeling from Dumbledore's request that he return one last time before graduation.

There had been many protests from the Weasley's, but in the end Harry agreed to go. After all, he could never say no to Dumbledore.

Now that he had been back for a few days, he wasn't sure if it had been a good decision in the end. It reminded him too much of the miserable holidays spent with the Dursley's before he found out he was a wizard. He wanted very much to go back to Hogwarts at the very least, but that seemed wholly out of the question. He had been assured by Ron that he would corral Fred and George into rescuing him, much like they did the summer before second year.

Needless to say, Harry would have been glad to be rescued by anyone at this point. He had stopped looking for flying Ford Anglia's a long time ago, and he felt that it was a step toward acceptance.

The music had reached a deafening volume, even from Harry's position in his upstairs bedroom. Loud, thundering footsteps alerted that Dudley had awoken and was, without a doubt, tearing down the staircase to rip open the monstrous stack of presents that had been growing under the Christmas tree.

It was, indeed, Christmas day.

Harry didn't leave his bedroom the entire day, save once when he couldn't ignore the fact that he had to use the bathroom anymore. Upon stepping out of his room he was bombarded with the mixed sounds of violent video games and 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree'. Harry found the combination unnerving.

He was surprised to find five very different owls lined on his windowsill, where he had left the window cracked in case there was a very small rescue mission on its way, when he returned from the loo.

The first owl was Pig, who looked entirely too excited to be there. He clutched a parcel that was at least three-times his size. While Harry was still marveling at how the small owl had carried the gift, Pig fluttered over to him, making an odd wheezing noise. Quickly un-attaching the package, he placed the owl in Hedwig's cage, where he promptly collapsed.

The next owl squawked disapprovingly and snapped her beak.

"Alright Hedwig, you're next," Harry chuckled and she perched on his shoulder and held out her foot. "You've been to Hermione's, eh?" Harry remarked to himself and laid that gift next to Ron's.

The next bird wasn't an owl at all, but a pigeon. Harry recognized the sprawling handwriting of Remus Lupin, and a square-shaped package that was more than likely a book.

The owl that Hagrid had sent bit Harry, dropped its lumpy package, and flew away. Harry couldn't help but assume the owl was angry about having to wait so long. He wasn't sure what sort of pressing matters an owl would have to take care of, but Harry didn't waste much time pondering it.

The last owl stood stock-still as it stared at him intensely, a green envelope clenched in its shiny, black beak. The sleek bird looked vaguely familiar, but Harry couldn't place where he had seen it before.

He approached it slowly, taking the letter from its beak and examining it. The handwriting was, like the owl, vaguely familiar. The envelope held a single word:_ Potter_.

Harry turned back to the owl, only to find it gone. He opened the letter and pulled out the piece of parchment within, simply to find:

_I'll come for you at twelve noon. Have your things together._

Harry couldn't help but be excited, even if he didn't know who was coming to his rescue. All that mattered in his mind was that he was, in fact, being rescued.

* * *

"Hello Mr. Dursley, I'm here to fetch Harry Potter. I'm sure you will be more than glad to be rid of him." 

"POTTER! GET DOWN HERE!" Vernon Dursley belted up the stairs, eyeing the visitor warily. "Who are you?"

The visitor shrugged, straightening his wooly scarf. "I'm a friend of his from school. I'm sure he told you about our plans for the rest of the holiday."

"No," Vernon said shortly. "POTTER, GET THE RUDDY HELL DOWN HERE NOW!"

"Coming Uncle Vernon," came Harry's reply, followed by the thump of his school trunk down the stairs.

"Vernon dear, who's at the door?" Petunia Dursley cooed, smiling widely at their young guest.

"A friend of Potter's," Vernon snapped, still eyeing him angrily.

"Surely not," Petunia gasped. "There is no way that someone of your obvious high stature in society would lower himself to be friends with...with _him._"

The young man didn't say anything in reply, just grinned in a slightly forced manner. A curse resounded from the stairwell, followed shortly by a clatter that signaled that Harry's trunk had sprung open.

"Potter, if you scuffed one stair..." Vernon near-bellowed, turning purple round the edges.

"I'm Petunia dear," Aunt Petunia pressed on, taking the man's hand into hers and shaking it vigourously. "This is my husband Vernon, and that charming young man over there is our son Dudley."

At the mention of his name, Dudley perked up, lifting his head from his plate of treacle tart and smiling, giving everyone a rather unpleasant view.

"Charmed," The young visitor said in a tone that suggested he was trying not to be sarcastic.

The thumping resumed from the stairwell, and Vernon cringed. Despite her obvious discomfort with the possibility that her house was getting mussed, Petunia smiled tightly. "W...wouldn't you stay for a spot of tea? I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name, dear."

"I didn't give it," he said with a forced smile. "How rude of me. I'm..."

"Oh bloody hell," Harry groaned, Hedwig tucked under one arm and his trunk handle clenched in his other hand.

"Hi Harry," the visitor said cheerfully. "Are you ready to go? I've just been chatting with your family. What a lovely bunch of people. Would you like me to take your owl for you?"

"MALFOY?" Harry screeched. "Why are you here?"

"Did you forget about our plans, love?" Draco said as he bounded over to Harry, snatching Hedwig's cage and dropping a quick kiss on his forehead. "We talked about this."

"Wh...what are you...?" Harry said slowly, still reeling from the shock of finding Draco bloody Malfoy chatting with his aunt and uncle in their living room.

"Who are you, exactly?" Vernon said snappishly, looking from Harry to Draco. "What do you want with Potter?"

"I'm sorry," Draco said, sticking out his hand for shaking purposes. "I'm Draco Malfoy, Harry's homosexual lover. We have been planning a romantic getaway for quite some time."

It was silent for a beat, then there was a quartet chorus of "WHAT?"

"You're a bloody ponce, Potter?" Dudley said with a laugh, then stuffed another bite of treacle in his mouth. "'At's Dis'shushing." Harry assumed he meant 'That's disgusting', but with Dudley you could never tell.

"Excuse me, but my lover and I prefer the term heterosexually challenged. We can't help it that we fell in love with each other. We don't let people like you get in the way of our unabashed love for one another."

Harry looked at Malfoy, awestruck. He had never heard anything more absurd in his life. In all actuality, he wasn't sure if he was feeling as surprised as he should be, but he wasn't sure if he could handle much more. "What unabashed love?" He finally said, suddenly finding it very difficult not to laugh.

"The love that we share, Harry. There is no love greater than what we have, nothing as pure or wonderful," Draco said in a bored tone. "Seriously, get with the program."

"I WON'T...THIS IS...I...WHAT THE HELL..." Vernon sputtered. Harry fancied that he could see smoke coming from his ears. "I...I JUST..." And then he simply fainted dead away.

Petunia looked quite constipated and green in the face, staring at Draco as if she had never in her life been more disappointed in a person. "Oh but dear," she said in a strangled tone, "You could do so much better than...than _that_," she finally said. "You should really reconsider your choice in...male company."

"I'm sorry, but I can't resist Harry's roguish charms and impeccable taste in men," Draco said in the same bored, flat tone.

"Taste in men?" Harry said incredulously. "Malfoy, I don't..."

Harry was interrupted by a wheezing sound from the lump of Uncle Vernon on the floor. "You...aren't...going...with...poofter...boy..." he said slowly, taking steady breaths. "Won't...allow..."

"You can't stop our love, Mr. Dursley," Draco said, planting his pale hands on his hips. "You aren't taking him away from me."

"Malfoy, I don't..." Harry began again, but was, yet again, interrupted.

"You will not be going with your...friend...Potter," Vernon said as he hoisted himself back to his feet. "I won't allow it. People will talk. I won't have a shirt-lifter in my house."

"And you make him _stay_?" Draco said with a laugh. "Mr. Dursley, we will be leaving."

"No you WON'T!" Vernon bellowed. "You will, not Potter. Get out of my house."

"You really should go dear," Petunia pressed. Dudley stuffed his mouth with treacle in assent.

"Not without..."

"OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Vernon yelled, turning blue and gesticulating wildly to the door. "POTTER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT MADE YOU THINK I WOULD ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE WITH YOUR LITTLE WHORE..."

"No, Uncle Vernon I'm not..."

"I AM NOT A WHORE!" Draco screeched, whipping out his ebony wand and sticking it between Vernon's second and third chin. "I'm leaving, or you grow another arm and lose your bits. Come, Harry."

"Malfoy, I'm not..."

"COME!" He yelped. Harry obeyed, partly because the blonde looked insane and partly because he had a wand clutched in his hand.

Harry led the way out of the house, spying a black car-like vehicle parked by the curb. He assumed this was Malfoy's mode of transportation.

"Harry won't be coming back," Malfoy tossed over his shoulder, along with various bottles of what appeared to be potion. Puffs of smoke rose from their points of impact, which were right at Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley's feet. Draco closed the door quickly and Harry was quite sure that he heard screaming. He really couldn't find it in himself to care.

Draco opened the door to the backseat of his vehicle, dropping Harry's owl in the seat. "You can put your trunk in on your side in the back, Potter," he said flatly as he climbed in behind the wheel, starting the car and waiting impatiently for Harry to climb in.

As soon as Harry closed his door Draco sped off, oblivious to the smoke poring out of every window in Number Four, Privet Drive.

"What. The. Fuck."

"Thought you would say that," Draco said, turning off in a direction that Harry had never been. "If you were in any way unsure, I'm not your homosexual lover. You can rest easy."

"Arse," Harry muttered, crossing his arms. "Why...why did _you_..."

"I was asked to," Draco said with a shrug. "Certain people thought it best that you be protected by more than muggles and Dumbledore's good intentions. I don't know what made him think that it would be possible for you to mend things with those horrid people."

"He...he wanted me to..."

"Shut up Potter," Draco said, turning on the radio. More horrible Christmas music blared, this time one of those sappy Christmas love songs that Harry hated but couldn't help but know the words to. He wasn't singing though. That was what Malfoy was doing.

"You are the angel atop my tree, you are my dream come true. Santa can't bring me what I need, 'Cuz all I want for Christmas is you."

"Why do you know muggle Christmas songs?" Harry said, becoming more and more surprised with Malfoy. "First you actually help me, now you know 'All I Want For Christmas Is You'."

"Don't have a stroke Potter," Draco snorted. "I'm a person too. My mum was annoying around Christmas. That's all you need to know."

"Who thought I shouldn't be with the Dursley's?" Harry said, hoping that Draco didn't point out his complete lack of tact. "Who asked you to fetch me?"

"Lord Voldemort," Draco said seriously, turning onto yet another unfamiliar road. "He thought it best you spend Christmas with him. He made you this lovely sweater set that I know you are going to love. Spend all year on it."

"Arse," Harry muttered again. "I'm serious."

"So am I. It has fur trim."

Harry huffed, provoking laughter from the blonde. "If you are just going to be an insufferable prat, I'm not going to talk to you."

"Break my heart, will you?" Draco laughed. "I was only kidding. Snape's the one who asked me, but I think it's an Order of the Pheonix thing. Or rather the subgroup of the order who have dubbed themselves 'Order of the Witches and Wizards Who Think Dumbledore is off His Mother-Fucking Rocker'. The lesser known and vastly more effective Order."

"Ah," was all Harry could really think of to say. "So...who all is in this group?"

"Snape, Lupin, a couple of generic Weasley's, and me."

"You?"

"Yes. I do believe I said that."

"W...why?"

Draco rolled his eyes and glanced over to Harry, laughter in his eyes. "You've got to be kidding. I do anything Snape does. It's part of my charm."

Harry wrinkled his nose, and Draco did laugh again.

"Aww...you are so cute when you are disgusted."

"I'm not cute," Harry exclaimed too lowly. "I am not cute and you will never say that again."

"Be still my heart," Draco toned. "Your loss. I would make an excellent homosexual lover."

"I'm not gay," Harry snapped, avoiding Draco's gaze.

"That's handy," Draco said in a low tone. "I'm not either."

* * *

The Order of the Witches and Wizards Who Think Dumbledore is off His Mother-Fucking Rocker had a different headquarters than that of the Order of the Pheonix. Harry assumed that, judging by the remote location and lack of any woodland creatures, that it was Remus' house. It was large an old, but it was a house and seemed to serve its purpose for...of all things...living. 

"Why are you here?" Harry said as Malfoy pulled into the drive. "Why aren't you at Malfoy Manor?"

"There's no one there," Draco said softly. "My father is in Azkaban, my mother is...to be completely honest I don't know where she is. Probably Czechoslovakia. Since Snape's my godfather, I got dumped on him for the holidays. We were going to stay at Hogwarts, but we had to complete Mission: Save Potter's Arse. I came up with that name, by the way."

Harry rolled his eyes and muttered, "And I'm sure you had something to do with the name of the Order, as well."

"Actually, no one else knows that it's named that," Draco said with an indifferent shrug. "That's just between you and me. It's just you, me, Snape, and Lupin here. And Lupin's all sleepy cause it was a full moon a while ago."

"But why _here_, why not Snape's house?"

"It's too small and smells strongly of ink and must," Draco said. "Lupin volunteered his house because he seems to like you, for some reason. And he's the honorary leader of the Order. He's an indifferent party, and no longer employed by the insane leader of the _other_ Order."

"Ah," Was all Harry could think of to say. This seemed to be happening a lot lately.

"Now come on, I'm hungry and I want to open my presents," Draco said, climbing out of the car and grabbing Harry's owl. "Or you could just sit in the car for all eternity. Doesn't matter to me."

Harry's stomach gave an unwilling growl and he got out of the car as well, dragging his trunk along with him. His brain made the observation, also unwillingly, that, although both Harry and Draco were non-homosexual, Harry thought that Draco had a very nice, very straight, arse.

Draco had managed to make the same heterosexual observation, only not admiring his own arse, but Harry's. Admiring his own arse would be much more awkward in more than one way.

* * *

Harry found it very hard to believe that anyone lived in the house, seeing as it was very dusty and insanely quiet. In all actuality, the only face he had seen the entire day was Malfoy's pointy one, and as appealing as it was in its own way, he was growing tired of it. 

"Where is Snape?" Harry said over a bowl of cereal, which seemed to be the only food that Malfoy knew how to make.

"Probably in the basement," Draco said with a shrug, sipping milk out of his spoon. The milk was pink. "That is, after all, his natural habitat."

"Where's Remus?" Harry pressed, but the only response Harry got from Draco was a shrug.

Draco finished his cereal and dropped the bowl in the sink, making much more noise than was necessary. "Are you almost done? I told you I wanted to open my presents and you are taking forever to eat your lunch."

"I'm savouring. This is the best breakfast cereal I've ever eaten for lunch," Harry said sarcastically, surprising himself and Malfoy. "Go open your bloody presents if you are so anxious."

"I...well...fine," Draco said, huffing dramatically and stomping into the large sitting room, where Harry had noticed a Christmas tree earlier. "You have some in here too, you know," Draco called back. "If you don't hurry I'll probably open them as well."

Harry rolled his eyes and, abandoning his cereal, stomped in after Malfoy. Harry thought that he should have found the image of Draco Malfoy sitting under a Christmas tree looking overly excited a little more unnerving, but he didn't. Not that he would tell anyone else, but he found the sight slightly cute. Slightly.

"Well pass me mine, then," Harry said, plopping down in an armchair by the tree and trying his best to look bored. Malfoy kicked a pile towards Harry, never tearing his eyes away from the stack that was his. Harry noticed that Malfoy had also got the few presents out of his trunk and added them to the pile as well.

Before Harry could have said another word Draco started tearing at his gifts at full force. Harry was reminded of a rabid wolverine for some reason, although he was quite sure he had never encountered said wolverine. In a mere matter of seconds Malfoy had opened every last one of his gifts and was looking, once again, bored. His hair was disheveled and he had a sheen of perspiration on his forehead, not that Harry was looking. He did notice, however, that Malfoy was eyeing his stack of presents hungrily.

Harry sighed and scooted a smaller one over to the Slytherin, saying, quite firmly, "Make it last."

Draco wrinkled his nose and took the gift grudgingly, doing as Harry had instructed and opening the gift very slowly. It turned out to be a thin, silver chain that was to be worn around the neck, and the tag read that it was from Lavender Brown.

Frowning at the tag he glanced up to Malfoy, who seemed to be entranced by the shiny object. Like a magpie. A rabid wolverine-like magpie. Quickly, he said, "You can have it if you want, Malfoy."

"No, no I couldn't," Draco said as he fastened it around his own neck. "It's your gift, Potter. You should have it."

"Alright, give it back."

"No! You already said I could have it," Draco hissed, staring down at the necklace and preening ever so slightly. "You can't take back gifts. It's a rule. Somewhere."

"You got me there," Harry said as he unwrapped the book he had received from Remus. "Darn you Malfoy and your cunning intelligence of gift giving rules."

As Harry began unwrapping another, Draco took one as well, obviously not caring if Harry gave him permission. The two of them made quick work of Harry's gifts, Draco having cracked open the box of Every Flavour Beans that Ron had given Harry and eating handfuls, picking out all the nasty ones and giving them to Harry, after each one saying, "Happy Christmas."

The last gift was unmarked, and Draco pointedly left it for Harry to open on his own. "Who is this one from, Malfoy?" Harry said softly, looking at the medium sized box as Draco dropped it in his lap.

"Honestly, how do you expect me to know?" Draco said as he sat back on his feet, staring up at Harry in a way that reminded him of a dog. Oddly enough, Harry was getting worried by the fact that Malfoy was reminding him of a wide array of strange animals. "Now open it."

The package was wrapped, oddly enough, in green paper, a large silver bow stuck in the middle. There couldn't have been a more obvious hint as to who it was from, but Harry only grinned and ripped the paper back.

Harry noticed that Malfoy was tense with anticipation, and Harry couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Malfoy was cute when he was nervous. And, Harry noted with surprise, not in a heterosexual way. He was _cute_.

"Well," Malfoy said, waving a hand flippantly and staring at Harry in a pointed way, "Obviously the person who got you this gift noticed that you dress like a complete vagabond."

For inside the box were two jumpers, one emerald green and one black, and a pair of very dark jeans. And, wonder of wonders, they were Harry's proper size. Or, in all actuality, he assumed they were a size smaller than Draco's, as he, Harry, was much shorter and a tad more scrawny.

"They must have also thought that emerald would really bring out the colour of your eyes," he added lightly, now avoiding Harry's gaze. "Because they really are remarkable, you know. Your eyes, I mean."

Harry smirked and thought briefly about hugging Malfoy or something, but he didn't. "I'll be sure to tell this person thank you, if I ever have the pleasure of meaning him or her. I'm sure this person is quite remarkable too."

"I didn't say _you_ were remarkable," Draco said, tossing his hair, "I said your eyes were remarkable. Don't flatter yourself. Your boring."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me for the truth," Draco said sneering.

"I mean for the gift," Harry said seriously. "I appreciate it."

"I didn't..."

"You're a horrible liar."

Draco's grey eyes landed on Harry's, and he sighed. Finally, after a long moment, Draco bit out, "You're welcome. You have to wear them, you know. They are better than that...offal that you usually call clothes."

"I will," Harry chuckled, then patted the arm of the chair he was sitting in. Draco rolled his eyes and climbed onto the arm, very deliberately not touching Harry. "So, did you get everything you wanted?" Harry said, staring at Draco's slightly shaking, spindly hands.

"No," Draco said, wringing them together and staring at Harry's slightly shaking, spindly hair.

Harry was afraid to ask. He already knew the answer. Draco had practically told him in the car. "W...what did you want that you didn't get?"

"You already know the answer to that," Draco said with a very awkward, very forced laugh that bordered on maniacal.

"Do I?"

"Don't be a bloody tease," Draco snapped before he stood. On instinct, Harry grabbed his hand, pulling him back. "Don't. Please don't."

Harry rose very slowly, making sure that he never lost eye contact with Draco. "You...you didn't get the one thing you wanted, did you?"

Draco didn't trust himself to speak. This was no new turn of events, seeing as he usually didn't trust himself to speak, but at this point is was for a whole new reason. He simply shook his head, staring at Harry in a way that he had never stared at anyone before. Except, perhaps, Stubby Boardman. But we won't discuss that now.

"You...you want me, don't you?" Draco thought it would have been more effective if he added 'One blink for yes, two blinks for no' to the end of that, seeing as Draco hadn't spoken for a while, but he didn't. Once again, Draco only nodded.

And, of all the things for Potter to do at such an important moment in their lives, he laughed. Laughed so bloody hard he was bloody crying.

"What the fuck, Potter?" Draco snarled, snatching his hand away and looking completely offended. "This isn't funny, not in the least. This isn't even 'watching someone trip and fall' funny."

"No..." Harry panted, "It's just...so incredibly cheesy. The...the song, and the present, and..." he broke out into another fit of annoying giggles.

"I didn't plan it," Draco pouted. "It just happened that way. I...would you laugh harder if I said 'all I want for Christmas is you', Potter?"

"Yes," Harry snorted. "So don't. I got that."

Draco crossed his arms and glared. He was supremely good at glaring. "How am I going to shut you up, then?"

"Three guesses, and the first two don't count."

And it was then that Draco Malfoy, looking put-upon, launched himself at one Harry Potter for the first time. I could lie and tell you that the kiss was perfect and not even remotely drool-heavy and there were angels and flying sparks of unabashed love, but I would be doing just that: lying.

But the kiss was perfect in their minds, because it was happening and they were enjoying it far too much to complain.

Harry pulled away from Draco, lips swollen and wet. "So...you got everything now? All you wanted?"

Malfoy only rolled his eyes and shoved Harry. He didn't have to answer, Harry already knew.

Fin.

* * *

_Please review! _


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